Inner Reflection: a mapping of my own thought process
Teaching an intense week is taxing not just on the physical body but both mentally and emotionally. With each training I find myself moving into stages of absorbing, digesting and acknowledging.
In order for me to process the last week of the training, I need to be away from the environment so that I can gather my own experiences and thoughts before getting back to a regular teaching schedule.
Taking in the whole experience from students interactions to my surroundings, to the people I meet and the energy of the studio and the place where I was staying. Stepping back from my role as a teacher and approaching it from many different perspectives. Being open to receive and accept what comes my way. To be adaptable and sensitive to the needs of others. ‘Absorbing’ as much as I am able to.
For me the safe place to ‘Digest’ all that I have taken from my experiences during this teacher training is when I am with my parents. They were there for me during a difficult time in my life. Providing support, love and most importantly no judgements. They become my sounding board, they ask the difficult questions. They give me the space to unravel myself. And so it is here where my process of digesting begins.
Letting go, is such an abstract term (for me) When someone says these words to me and it has been said lately, I have respond back with a blank look. The worse is I have used this very term myself in my classes and have never paid any importance to how it may resonate to others until now.
The words ‘Let it go’ is difficult to do because there is nothing concrete to let go off. How can I let go off a thought or an emotion if I have not acknowledged its presence or existence?
It is during this transition that I like to be by myself, in the comfort of my own home. A place with no interruptions from the outside world…just me, myself and I. It is here where I can begin to ‘acknowledge’ everything that I am feeling… the comfortable and the uncomfortable. From student feedbacks to suggestions offered by others. To what went well or did not go well during the course or training. To my weakness and strengths.
You see the moment I 'acknowledge', the easier and clearer this practice becomes. I am able to step back and see the broader picture. The experience of discernment becomes less stressful and emotional.
Through this process I have found teaching in India to be an experience that encourages me to grow as an individual, teacher and seeker. I have realised that although I have over 13 years of teaching experience, there is still so much more that I need to unlearn and learn.
After every TTC that I have taught I walk away with a deep conviction and clarity that it is NOT and NEVER will be about the certifications or creating yin teachers but more about cultivating a connection/friendship between the practitioner and their inner self/body.
It is about empowering both men and women to find their own inner connection, to re connect with their essence on a deeper level. To know that it's alright to just be!
Art work by Dina Dargo